Working in advertising, I deal with advertisers and marketers who have their own misconstrued and twisted notions on who women are and how they behave. But, something I recently realized, everyone has their own notions and cliches in their heads about men.
Be warned, when I say men, I mean men, not little boys in college or university who are yet to deal with the problems and pressures of the real world.
I would like to set the record straight, at least about me. Following you will find the leading misconceptions people have about me, and probably, other MEN.
1. All I think and talk about are women:
This is an absolute fallacy, my life is way to complicated and has too many moving parts to dedicate a major portion of brain power and conversation about random women. I have bills to worry about, the next career move, family, friends, favours I need and favours I need to do. Maybe once or twice a month will I find the time with a good friend where we will have a brief discussion about women, but that is rarely of a sexual nature.
2. I can't be 'just friends' with a woman:
Seriously. Even some of my guy friends have accused me of this. A few of my best friends are women and I don't want to have any designs with them. Call it the male version of the friend zone, but its there. If there is a woman I don't want to be 'just friends' with I won't be friends with her.
3. When I say that I'll do something, I'll do it immediately:
Haven't you ever heard of getting the existing job done first? Or should I just drop everything and run your stupid errand?
4. That all I want is a pencil thin woman with huge knockers:
Another stupid cliche that only little boys have. Obviously I am not attracted to fat women, and before you judge men, adjust your own definition of fat, but understand the fact that all I want is a REAL woman, not a barbie doll.
5. That I am not complicated:
I too have dreams, nightmares, fears and desires just like you. I bury my insecurities under layers of protection so the world can't poke at it. I have my own hang ups and if I say 'no' to you I have reasons I don't want to share. Try analyzing that!
6. That I over think stuff because I'm stuck up:
That is possibly the dumbest thing people have confronted me with. "You think you are better than everyone else", a direct quote. I over think because I want to be sure of what is happening, I used to be a leap before looking kind of guy a decade ago, I grew up since then as that approach blew up in my face. I over think because I am unsure, I want to be sure! It is my insecurity, YES, my insecurity, I have no other choice.
7. I am constantly available to do whatever it is the fuck you want from me:
NO!
8. I am emotionally distant:
I am a diagnosed sociopath. I do have trouble dealing with complicated emotions. There, after all these years, I finally said it. If I don't feel your pain, it's because I take time processing 'empathy', that is ME... if you judge me for it, that's your problem.
9. I think about sex every 7 seconds:
Refer to point 1.
10: If you have a personal agenda, I can't tell:
Seriously, everyone who thinks that, needs a huge reality check. Ever notice how my tone changes or my interest level deteriorates. I'm being polite. Don't ever assume I don't know what you are up to. I'll be specific here, people who come to me for "advice" or "help" on "their own" projects but want me to do their job for them. It's always pretty obvious.
These are just a few things that popped to mind. As time goes along I'm sure I'll do a version 2 of this.
Until then,
Cheers,
Z
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