Uphill Drive

Dear Reader,

In my ongoing attempt to bring my one reader (you) more information and pictures about the engineering marvels that are the roads of Saudi Arabia, I am going to tell you about a very popular road called Al Hada Road.

Al Hada Road links the city of Taif with Makkah via a mountain path. It is by far the best mountain road I have ever encountered. With guard rails all the way through and littered with observation points, people go there regularly just to drive and look at the sights. Although, Taif itself is a very beautiful city making the path and the destination amazing.

Although there are no speed cameras on the path, speeding here would be a fairly dumb thing to do. Stay safe, stay within the speed limits.

Pack up the wife and the kids, tell them you are going to Taif for a picnic and you can enjoy the drive and end up spending some quality time with your woman and the human offspring who ruined your sex life.

Al Hada Road, 31Km of pure exhilaration

There are a lot of observation points on the road, as I have mentioned earlier, but you have to be ready to stop, which is easier said than done because they appear suddenly and you can miss them. Just keep your eyes open for groups of people so you know where they are as they aren't marked.

Now you can enjoy some pictures.

Approaching Makkah From Al Lith Rd

Exiting Makkah via Route 15 with a view of King Abdullah College

On the Approach on Route 15

Mountains calling

 

On the base of the Al Hada hill climb 

Don't know what that is, but they built it and it's impresive

See the structure on the top... that's where we are going

It rains unexpectedly in the mountains in the middle of the desert

The sand and rain mix under tyres to make a fine soapy liquid

The observation points offer some impressive views

Monkeys will take your food, forcibly

And Show you their asses

The pictures do not do justice to the brilliance of the views

This was taken at the observation point at the to of the hill

It is steep

and flat

and very curvy

and long

and impressive

Monkeys will steal your food and moon you at every observation point 

This whole traffic jam was caused by one broken down car

 



 



I hope you enjoyed it and are planning a trip of your own. It is an awesome driving experience like none other and I highly recommend everyone to do it at least once. Drive safe and buckle up.

Cheers,

Z

The Upside of an Islamic Utopia

Dear Lost Soul,

Lets face it, if you are reading this, you are bored and ended up here surfing the internet and wasting time. I'm not complaining, just pointing out you and I may be very alike.

I now reside in Saudi Arabia which, for some Muslims, is considered THE Islamic Utopia to live in. Makkah is here, Medina and the final resting place of the Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) is here. To non-Muslims, it is a secretive Kingdom of which, there isn't much known. There is much much more to Saudi Arabia than meets the eye.

Being a car guy, I hope to start shedding light on the fact that Saudi Arabia may, in fact, be the best place in the world to go for a drive. The roads here are a pleasure to drive on. They are smooth, well constructed and in some places showcase the human will to engineer what one might believe to be impossible.

Today, I write about one of my regular road trips. You will see pictures that do not do justice to the beauty of the landscape and the brilliance of Saudi engineering.

This post is about Al Lith Road that is around 40mins outside of Jeddah, my home city.

 

Al Lith Road is 52Km dead straight

 

You read and saw that correctly, 52km dead straight. I am not advocating you break the law and over speed here but the road also has no speed cameras. The landscape is gorgeous, the road is near perfect for a little know back road, it will go up and down but not left or right. It is a marvel of engineering and absolutely brilliant.

 

The intersection approaching Al Lith Road

A curve eases you in

Dead straight for the next 52Kms

Mountains in the distance accompany you

It's straight and seldom used

To give you an idea of the runoff area between the two lanes

Just keeps going

Wouldn't it have been easier to go around? No. They go though it. The expensive way.

Al Lith links to Makkah

The day was perfect, not a sandstorm in sight

About half way through they cut through another mountain

Nothing stopped the engineers from making the straightest road in the world

 

Mountains all around

I had to stop and take pictures

An entire town on the road was being demolished

The rocks mark the end of the straight

Welcome to Makkah

 

 

Just a tip if you decide to go for a drive, make sure you have enough fuel since there aren't and fuel stations until you reach Makkah and therefore no shops to stop for some water. Make sure you are full stocked before heading out.

 

I hope this inspires you to go for a drive. Do not forget to send me pictures of any awesome road you drive on. Stay safe, and the speed limit is the law.

 

I will continue to write and showcase the best Saudi Arabia has to offer for the petrolheads out there.

 

Cheers,

 

Z 



Expatriotism

Dear Reader,

It's been a while since I last wrote anything. In my defence, I am really really lazy. But, as a part of my "self improvement" plan, I will be posting at least once a week. I have no idea how long that will last. 

Over the period of silence, I have once again moved abroad from Pakistan becoming an overseas Pakistani. All the time I grew up with my friends, I used to romanticize this lifestyle. I though it was so cool to be based abroad and all my friends used to share my opinions. There were many hopes, aspirations and fantasies we all had about the "expatriate" lifestyle, including the freedom from our culture and bonds of family breathing down your neck.

4 years in and I have learnt how wrong I was. I am listing just some of the "rude awakenings" I have had.

1. It's harder than you think: It's not all fun and glory with cars and babes. You miss your family, you miss your home, you miss your friends, you miss your city, you miss the food. Everyday.
2. Staying alive is a big chore: When I was living at home with my mum and dad, I was only just working and making money. The responsibility of keeping me alive belonged to my mum. She fed me, kept my room clean made sure the kitchen was stocked. Being alive is a big chore and now that I have to do it all on my own, I have a new found respect for how flawlessly my mum just made sure I didn't die of starvation.
3. I still can't afford to buy property in Pakistan: I came here with the knowledge that if I stayed in Pakistan, I would never be able to afford even a flat in Karachi (my home town). 4 years in, lots of money saved up, and I still can't afford a flat in Karachi.
4. Saving money is easier but using it is harder: I'm in Saudi Arabia, so saving money is really easy in this part of the world, but getting large enough sums to your own bank account is a tedious process. Western Union is a bright shining light in this darkness.
5. There is really not that much to do: After work, gym, housekeeping there really isn't that much activity to indulge in, fewer friends to hang out with, fewer cultural activities so mostly you have to chill at home in front of the TV. I found out that cabin fever is a real thing.
6. Video chat, chat and voice calls just aren't the same: All these options are available to make contact with family and friends back home, it just isn't the same as sitting down in a room with the people you care about. It just isn't.

I'm sure that there are many more that I have unconsciously acclimated to, but rest assured there are more.

I'll Keep you updated.

Regards,

Z

 

A Chauvinist's View On Women

Back when I was a young dude and dated like a stud, I made a list of things that ticked me off about my various dates. To be fair, I have significantly matured since then and my dating life has become non-existent, the reasons of which will become more obvious when you read the list.

Anjoy, and don't hate me!

1. Please do not start eating from my plate without permission, I just bought you your own damn plate of, very expensive food, for a reason!
2. Don't force me to eat what you don't want to eat!
3. Be on time, it's just plain good manners
4. Pick up the bloody phone on time! Someone literally could be dying!
5. Stop calling ever 12.7 seconds!
6. We don't WANT to know ANYTHING about your troubled life of fight with a friend... We actually couldn't give a crap! Just make small talk or listen to us ramble!
7. Contrary to your opinion... anything in our lives is not about you!
8. Do not, under any circumstance, diss the car! Do that and we will, for sure, tell you that you look fat in every dress you wear
9. When another woman has a better ass than you, we'll take a peek, no big deal
10. The ability to use the word 'f**k' does not count as dirty talk
11. Lesbian chicks are cool... stop saying otherwise
12. When all boys are the same, why do women assume the dude they are out with is somehow different and looking for a 'platonic' relationship

Before you show up at my house with pitchforks and torches, these are the ramblings of a younger me. Please don't murder me!

Regards,

Z

Words I Take Issue With

There are certain words that have become part of regular vocabulary due to social media. I have some issues with some of these words which are listed as below.

Haters: 

Urban Dictionary defines haters as "A person that simply cannot be happy for another person's success. So rather than be happy they make a point of exposing a flaw in that person". Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't that the definition of a classical asshole? Why not just call them assholes... it seems a way more satisfying word.

Nerd:

I don't have an issue with the word nerd per se but more with the people referring to themselves as nerds. Most people referring to themselves as nerds have no interest in math, science or literature but have just watched a season of 'Game of Thrones' or the 'Avengers' moves. I have friends who do have an interest in math, science and literature and have religiously read books and comic books, and most of the modern day 'nerds' think of these people as losers... I don't understand how that happened.

SWAG:

What does that even mean. Like, seriously, what qualifies as swag? Do I have swag if I wear a bitchin suit or do i need to wear over sized clothes and make gang signs? What on earth is swag?

Twerking:

Urban Dictionary defines it as "when a girls' ass moves like a bowl of Jell-O". I know it was made famous by Miley Cyrus (I may be wrong), but then why are there vines of men doing it? Didn't the great philosophers of the previous decade refer to this act as the 'Booty Shakin'? 

YOLO:

It stands for 'You Only Live Once', which is in interesting acronym but every time I search for YOLO on the YouTube there are videos of high pitched teenage voices screaming the term before doing something that gets them hurt or arrested. They don't even do the cool kind of stuff like skateboard tricks or bike jumps, they usually do something really stupid like jump off a roof onto a tennis ball. Do all YOLO-ers have some sort of brain damage that impairs their ability to predict pain or an impending criminal record?

Emo:

I searched the internet for a definition of the word I read a lot on buzz feed but I cant find a definition that I can comprehend, mostly has something to do with 'punk' music which is not exactly 'punk'. Google images show me pictures of attractive women with blue hair. Is 'emo' a lifestyle? a fashion sense? a kind of music? an animal? an animal? It does seem whatever an 'emo' is, it is overly emotional to the point of being a pussy... the adjective not the noun... 

Beliebers:

What an unfortunate thing to admit in public, like syphilis.

Hipsters:

Here's how I define hipsters, a large group of people who reject brands, people and ideologies by referring to them as mainstream. They all dress alike, use the same phone, wear the same glasses and generally look no different from the hipster next to them. I see a bit of an oxymoron there because hipsters are now mainstream... it's more of a fashion sense, just like the military machine of the world has a fashion sense and rejects ideologies. My issue is this, either be different or accept you are the same, or is that too mainstream for you.

I thank you for your time and patience and do let me know if there is a word that you find annoying or don't see the point of.

Regards,

Z

Corporate Stooges

There are some harsh realities when you live and work in the environment that I live in. To be specific, I am a marketer who has worked in advertising agencies and on the brand side and am currently in the latter.

When I was in university, I had some romantic notions about what the working world would be like, and after hard experience, I learned certain things that I have just managed to accept and use to my advantage. In case you are wondering, I have just admitted to playing dirty politics with the leeches of the corporate world, but, I am still (almost) humane with those less powerful.

I want  to share my cynical outlet with the Internet, even if no one is reading.

Just a disclaimer before I begin, if I have worked with you and you feel shame or outrage while reading the following it's because you are guilty of something.

1. There will always be someone trying to take credit for your work:

This might be a boss or more likely someone from a parallel department who will claim credit and acclaim for work you did and some will go as far as to putting your accomplishments in their resume. I have viewed certain profiles on linked in of people who have put down my work as their accomplishment. These people have bullshit coming out of 2 holes and one day given the right circumstances, I will expose them, out of pure spite.

2. People who claim benefits based on your work:

I have worked with people in the past who have gotten raises and promotions for work that I did. I can literally name the people and the work that they copy pasted, reformatted and presented as their own hard work. It happens a few times not a lot, but the hate and the hurt has always stuck with me. Some of my optimistic friends tell me to look on the bright side and understand that I am THAT good. But, it makes me want to set their car on fire.

3. Someone is always trying to throw you under the bus:

Yes, be on the lookout, there is someone in your department who does shoddy paperwork, works mostly on verbal agreements. Look around, you'll notice that person, the more clandestine they think they are the more obvious the become. Thank heavens that no one has been able to throw me under the bus because of the previous bosses I have had that have stuck up for me and have taught me the value of a clearly drafted email. They are out there, be as fucking careful as you can be.

4. Red Tapers

You have probably run into one of these, it is probably a middle aged guy most likely in your finance department who is used to maintaining accounts on registers by hand. MS Excel, SAP and Oracle etc are their worst nightmares. To feel relevant, they make you run around getting printouts signed original papers and still do everything by hand. They are a dying breed, I am patient because they will die out soon!

5. The Useless Fucks

Most likely has an MBA from a prestigious university, talks like he knows everything but spews absolute shit. If you are from a prestigious university, around a year or more of experience, are used to 'delegating' and tell your friends you do very important shit... you probably are the twat in in question. 

6. The Person Who Takes Kickbacks

These kinds are everywhere and I have usually found them moving up the corporate ladder faster than the rest. They make money from awarding projects to vendors at a higher cost but move up because their jobs usually get done on time bu at a higher cost. 

I'm sure I have forgotten a great many idiots... but these are the big ones, I know they exist and have learned how to manipulate them. The technique is simple, when emailing these morons, write clear, precise and very singe meaning sentences and learn to use the BCC tab.

Regards,

Z